so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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