I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
