My nipple is on Facebook.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
