do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
