Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
