Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
