Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
