She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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