So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
