Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Be still, my beating vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
