Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
