Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
