Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
