If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
