OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
