i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
