Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
