Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
