I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
