I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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