He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
