So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
