wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i now understand why vodka
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
