did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
