Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
