your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
