An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
