i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
