The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
