He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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