dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
