i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
