what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
