his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
