The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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