I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
