I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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