i don't like sucking hair
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
God I need to hump something, right now.
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