I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
