i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
