During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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