During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Found the puke drawer
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i've created a new STD.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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