you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
