so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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