I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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