His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
