I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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