Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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