I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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