his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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