True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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